FF7, LOD, and the Manison of ALK
by Ace Leo Knight International
Summary: What happens when you throw Final Fantasy 7, Legend of Dragoon, and 3 co-authors in a huge manison? Let\'s find out...


**Final Fantasy 7, Legend of Dragoon, and the Mansion of ALK**   
_by Ace, Leo, and Knight International_

This crossover is a story about three groups living in a mansion together. The three groups are as follows: The FF7 crew, The Legend of Dragoons crew, & Ace, Leo, & Knight International (the last group are the authors)   


We join the FF7 crew at Cloud's villa. Cid is immovable from the television currently watching the celebration of the first episode of The Dukes of Hazard for the billionth time.   
Cloud: Don't you have something to better than to do than a channel that shows nothing but that crappy show   
Cid: Shut the @$#* up man I love the dukes & F.Y.I. no I don't have anything better to do   
Cloud: What about you airship?   
Cid: Fixed it   
Cloud: Oh well. 

Meanwhile everyone (except Yuffie) is waiting for lunch. 

Vincent: is it just me or do we live here?   
Barret: What do yoose mean?   
Vincent: We're here all the time & we have our own rooms here. I'd call that living here   
Tifa: He has a point & speaking of which isn't this villa a little small for 7 people, a mechanical cat, & a lion like beast?   
Cloud: You're right but this is my house & for 1) I couldn't find anything bigger & 2) this place wasn't exactly cheap.   
Aeris: That is all right I can solve this problem. How about I move into Cloud's room & Vincent can have my room!   
Tifa: I think not @#$%@   
Aeris: So you think Cloud would prefer you?   
Tifa: Of course he would (hugs Cloud & rest her head on his shoulder) wouldn't you?   
Cloud: (thinks) of course, I would (out loud) Now don't start this again   
Cid: (mumbles to red) 50 gill on Tifa   
Cait: (mumbles back) that is a sucker bet   
Aeris: What did you two say?   
Tifa: probably said I'm hotter than you   
Aeris: WHY YOU LITTLE @$#%*!!!!   
Tifa: MORE LIKE BIG @#$! $ 

They both jump at each other & get into another catfight Tifa is beating the @#$% out of Aeris 

Red: Hey don't you sleep in coffin in the basement   
Vincent: Yea   
Red: Everything makes sense now 

Just then Yuffie runs in the door & trips over Red   
Yuffie: (getting up) Guys! Guess what?   
Cloud: You've decided not to eat sugar for the next month   
Yuffie: Nooooo   
Cloud: Damn   
Red: You've decided not to tease me   
Yuffie: Nooooo   
Cid: Tell us or I'll kill you   
Yuffie: Ok! Ok! There is an aid in the newspaper. It says we can buy a section of a 100-acre mansion   
Cat Sith: the mansion sits on 100-acres!   
Yuffie: Nooooo the mansion IS 100-acres!!   
Cloud: …   
Tifa: How about Cloud & me buy a section of the mansion & you guys stay here at the villa   
Aeris: (beaten & bloody) I think not   
Tifa: Do want another piece of me?   
Cloud: Hey Aeris go to your room! Tifa go to mine   
Aeris: Yes mother   
Tifa: (after hitting Aeris again) Will you come with me????   
Cloud: I'll be there later to check on you. Yuffie how big is a piece?   
Yuffie: The article says that it is split into 5 sections & 3 are owned by Ace, Leo, & Knight International they are selling the other two parts   
Cid: (who only moved from the t.v. to watch Tifa beat up Aeris): How much is it?   
Yuffie: 1,000 gill that includes two rooms, which come with televisions, satellite, DVD players with all the DVDs made & VCRs with almost all the movies made.   
Cloud: sounds like a good deal call to about a buying a section   
Cid: Do I get a say in this?   
Yuffie: Yes they have all the episodes of Dukes of Hazard on DVD & VHS   
Cid: What the hell are you waiting for an invitation to call!! 

Suddenly a bright flash fills the room 

Sephiroth: (appears out of nowhere) You will not go   
Cloud: Hey Sephy, wanna come too? Cause even you need a vacation   
Sephy: …. Hmm … Ok, I guess   
Yuffie: I've finally reserved a section   
Cloud: why not both?   
Yuffie: They only let me get one 

Just then the doorbell rings 

Cloud: I'll get it (opens the door) Hey you're late (opens the pizza box) & the pizza is cold   
Pizza man: That's 50 gill   
Cloud: WHAT !? (Fixen to hit the guy) 1. YOU'RE LATE 2. THE PIZZA IS COLD!!!!!   
Pizza man: Then no pizza! (Tries to take it back) 

Tifa comes out of Cloud's room after hearing him yelling 

Cloud: YOU WANT ME TO PAY OK HERE I'LL PAY YOU (about to hit the guy)   
Tifa: (grabs his fist) I'll take care of it (kicks him in the balls). We don't pay for cold pizzas. Now get lost! (Closes the door) Don't hit any more pizza men. (Puts the pizza n the oven) The cops have already come twice asking for you about that   
Cloud: Ok (sighs) but why'd you get to hurt him?   
Aeris: What you're not going to give him any ice?   
Tifa: Get bent   
Aeris: Bite me   
Tifa: 1. You wouldn't taste good 2. You wanna join him?   
Aeris: …. No   
Cid: so how do we get there?   
Tifa: Where?   
Vincent: The mansion   
Tifa: There is an interdimintional airport at the Golden Saucer   
Cid: I'm not going to ask ….   
Tifa: We don't leave until two days from now so tomorrow everyone needs to go home & get packed   
All: We are home & all of our stuff is here.   
Tifa: just get packed 

Two days & three cat fights later the group bords the plane headed fo the mansion. 

Meanwhile, we join the happily married couple of Dart and Shana, as they prepare for the arrival of the other dragoons for the reunion... 

Dart: *yelling to the kitchen* How's the food coming?   
Shana: It would be coming alot quicker, if you would help.   
Dart: I am helping. I'm supervising.   
Shana: *rolls her eyes and shakes her head* Come get put this food on the table, where Haschel and Meru can get to it.   
Dart: Ok, dear. *walks into the kitchen and does what his wife told him too"   
*Doorbell rings*   
Dart: *goes to the door and answers* Hello, Miranda. How are you?   
Miranda: What crappy dec...er.... Fine. And you?   
Dart: Ok. Why don't you go into the Den and wait for everyone else?   
Miranda: Okay.   
Dart: *thinks* Yep. Still a !*@^#.   
*Doorbell again*   
Dart: *Opens it* Hey, Rose, Dad.   
Zeig: How are you, son?   
Dart: Just great. And you?   
Rose: Death sucks.   
Zeig: Agreed.   
Dart: Ok. Could you go wait in the den with Miranda. *watches them both going to the other room.*   
*(Surprisingly) Doorbell rings*   
Dart: *again answers the door* Hello, Albert. How's you and your wife?   
Albert: I believe we are both quite fine. May I join who ever came to this house before me?   
Dart: ....Yea... They are in the den.   
Albert: I thank you.   
Dart: ... I wonder if I'll be like that when I'm married for that long.   
Shana: Dart! Come help me get the rest of this!   
Dart: Alright! *walks into the kitchen* While I do this, you worry about the door.   
Shana: Ok, honey. *kisses Dart on the cheek.   
*Doorbell*   
Shana:*answers* Hello there, Kongol   
Kongol: Kongol think nice to see Shana. *tries to walk in, but the door is too small*   
Shana: Maybe you should bend down and walk in.   
Kongol: Kongol will do. *bends down and walks in*   
Shana: Everyone else is in the den.   
Kongol: Ok, Shana. Kongol go. *walks into the den*   
*(Need I say) Doorbell*   
Shana: *answers* Hello, Meru, Haschel.   
Haschel: Hey, Shana.   
Meru: What's up, Shana? Where's the f- *sees the table of food* FOOD! *tries to run in with Haschel but Shana stops them*   
Shana: We'll eat soon. Come on, you're the last 2. Let's go catch up. *walks into the den with everyone else* 

The Dragoons sit and talk about what they have been doing. 

Haschel: So how's ruling two countries?   
Albert: I think that it is utterly annoying.   
Haschel: Why is that?   
Albert: I believe it is because it is.   
Haschel: ... 

Meru: Dart!   
Dart: Yes, Meru?   
Meru: I wanna know what you've been doing.   
Dart: Nothing. Helped to rebuild the town, got married to Shana, and build this house.   
Meru: Cool! But why didn't we get invited to the wedding?   
Dart: ... Because we only invited our parents.   
Zeig: I didn't go...   
Dart: Cause you're dead.   
Meru: Then wouldn't that mean that no one went, cause Shana's are dead too?   
Dart: You get the picture now.   
Meru: OH! OK! 

Miranda: Shana I'd like to congradulate you for such a crap- I mean wonderful looking house. Tell me who built it so I can shoot- I mean hire him.   
Shana: Dart did.   
Miranda: Figures- Because it is so wonderful!   
Shana: Thank you. *thinks* lying !^@%# (note: Shana never said a cuss word, but who says she didn't think them?) 

After about a half an hour, they all sit at the table and begin to eat. 

Meru: *mouth full* Food's great, Shana!   
Shana: Thank you.   
Dart: I can really live off of this!   
Haschel: Looks like you have been.   
Dart: What do you mean?   
Hachel: Pants fit as well as they did a few monthes ago?   
Dart: ...   
Haschel: Knew it.   
Dart: Shut up.   
Miranda: Am I the only one doesn't lik- I mean dislike this food?   
Meru: *with food still in her mouth* I think I just said it was great, Miranda.   
Miranda: ...   
Kongol: Kongol like too.   
Albert: Grand food here before me. 

They spend about an hour eating and talking more, until- 

Meru: I like it here together. Maybe we should live in the same house!   
All: ...   
Meru: What?   
Dart: We can't all live in my house.   
Meru: No, I heard of a 100 acre mansion for rent.   
Dart: But how big is the house?   
Meru: I just said "100 acres"!   
Albert: I believe that is 100 times the size of my castle.   
Haschel: I think I've heard of this mansion. Owned by Ace, Leo, and Knight International, right?  
Rose: Yes, I've seen it in your newspaper, Dart.   
Dart: Hmm... Why not? Ok, Shana, can you call Mr. Ace, Mr. Leo, or Mr. Knight?   
Shana: Ok. Sounds great too me.   
Voice: I demand to go with you.   
Dart: Who is that? *Flash and Lloyd appears*   
Lloyd: I must go. Please allow me.   
Dart: Ok, anyone aganist that? * no one answers* Alright, Lloyd will join us. 

A few days later, they go to a place they never heard of called an "Airport" and flew to our world to go to the mansion. 

Little known to either crew that they have both rented 2 parts are of the same house *dun dun dun*. Will they get along? Who are Ace, Leo, and Knight? Will our heros ever see the light of day again? Opps, wrong fic. Tune it for chapter 2....


End file.
